Under One Roof

I believe in this…

You know why? I’ve met some pretty amazing individuals in my life who have shown much more kindness not only to me but to my family more than the relatives we have. Individuals who are not blood-related to us.

Let me tell you about my godfather, Jose. He’s been a constant figure in my childhood up to the time I was in college. He would be in our home asking if there’s something he could help with. Fixing stuff, repairing something. He’s always been the handyman in our lives. He and my dad have been best friends for years and years. I am the only godchild but he would also treat my siblings the same way. When I had a gift, my siblings would also have one for each of them. He treated us that way ever since I can remember. He’s there for my parents through the good and bad times.

He only ‘disappeared’ in our lives when he finally found the woman he chose to spend the rest of his life with. He’s a late bloomer of sorts. He married when he was already in his 40′s. He moved far away in the south. We would see him from time to time. He would visit us whenever he’s visiting his family living just a street away.

He’s family even if we’re not of the same blood.

While the kids are content with their lollipops and bubble gums, the ladies with their tiramisu and strawberry champagne, the men are busy with their swisher sweets little cigars and wine. The men are happy with their stuff just like candies.

It is a day for the whole clan but the day is already coming to a close so the kids are now inside the den watching cartoons and some are playing with their tablets. The women are in the living room and the kitchen discussing a variety of topics ranging from crafting, school, kids and men. While the men are in the basement watching football and enjoying their nightcap.

It’s a good day for all.

Yesterday was my (paternal grandmother) Nanay’s first death anniversary. She died on Good Friday last year.

It was a sudden loss. We actually didn’t see it coming. She was just accompanied by my aunts to the hospital for check-up. She had difficulty in breathing but since she had lung problems for the longest time, we thought it was just brought on by that. She was also coughing that time so we also thought it had something to do with it. It turned out to be collapsed lungs. With her age, she was 74, her body was not able to recover.

We were there in the hospital, all of us, from my Tito Wilson (the eldest child) to Zoe (the youngest grandchild). We chose to let go because we saw how she suffered already. We prayed that the Lord would heal her soul and take her to His place where there’s no more pain and suffering.

It’s been a year since but the loss is still felt by everyone most especially by our (paternal grandpa) Papang. She’s a big influence in our lives…

We miss you, Nanay!

There are two ducks roaming the area where we reside. I don’t know to whom it actually belong just that one of the neighbors do. I was surprised when I first saw it. I thought it got out of a pen or something and that the owner would herd his ducks back home as soon as he found out they’re gone.

You know what? That never happened. The ducks are always outside, roaming the area destroying plants, and leaving their icky waste everywhere!

The owner of those ducks should be reported but for what offense? Letting his ducks loiter? His ducks making illegal waste disposal and destroying the environment? But as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, people in this country think they’re always right! So if you report the owner, I am sure the barangay officials will just laugh at the one filing the complaint.

Ugh! I hate that irresponsible duck owner!

I am aware that a child does not have a responsibility to provide for his parents. It is the other way around. When a child is already of age, he has to make his own life and it is understood that he will separate from his parents to create his own family.

But there are circumstances when a child needs to help his parents. Let me tell you a situation here…

A father was working very hard to provide for his wife and kids. He gave them everything they needed and wanted. A roof over their heads, good food, good education, clothes to wear… everything! And more… toys, gadgets, pricey footwear. The father would not think of getting any for him because everything he had was only for his family especially his kids.

And then tragedy struck. The father was diagnosed to have a rheumatic heart. He was not fit to work anymore. He was asked to resign from his job and he went home with close to nothing. He rested for a while thinking he could bounce back but people, family and friends, noticed the decline in his health. His body grew weak, he lost a significant amount of weight, he looked pale despite his tan, and he was always short of breath. He went to work in a local car shop repairing cars and all. He almost had a heart attack! He was rushed to the hospital and he stayed there for days. His doctors warned him not to go back to work anymore as it would kill him but after a few days of rest, he went back to work. He had to as his kids are in school and they have needs. His wife is helping him out doing odd jobs but it’s not enough. They are renting a small space, the kids are all in school with one in college, two in high school, and the youngest in elementary. They also have to eat and pay the bills.

So the eldest was asked to stop studying for a while. He was hired by a car shop as an errand boy. He is the only one earning aside from his parents. Of course, those who know of their situation are all relieved knowing the boy can somehow replace his father so the latter can rest. You know what? The child is working for himself alone! The father who continuously loses weight and looks sick every single day continues to work. The mother is doing odd jobs to help. But the boy, knowing his father’s health is continuously deteriorating, is hesitant in helping his family.

It was really a shame! I guess in this case we all know that the child needs to help his parents. He doesn’t have to for the rest of his life but just now until his father can go back to his healthy self. He has the rest of his life to go back to college. For now, he needs to help his father if he doesn’t want him to just keel over and die.

Unfortunately, it looks like the boy doesn’t want to help. When his father was still working and earning a big salary, he was given every little thing he needed and wanted. Now that his father desperately needs his help, he is half turning his back to him.

It is truly a sad situation. Family helps one another. A child gives his parents unconditional help when desperately needed. I hope the boy realizes this before it’s too late.

Truth of the matter is that I am wide awake when almost everyone else is already sleeping. I work at odd hours and I found out years ago that I work best when it’s already quiet in the house. I like it better because in that way I can hear myself think. When everyone is awake, all I can hear is a constant buzz from the noise they are making.

So I find night time to be my haven… that is until my neighbours thought it would be really great to chat nonstop outside their house at night! They choose to yak their hearts out around midnight. It’s like high noon for them and no one is sleeping so they talk like a mountain separates them. They are loud!

I don’t know with the people in this country. You can’t just drive away anybody even if you are already being bothered. It will start a fight that will last for days! So what do I do? I suck it up! I just plug the earphones in and pray that their night time chat will be finished soon enough. It just fucks up my night and early morning but what can I do? I don’t want to call in the local night officers to ‘disperse’ the chatters. I don’t want to wake up my dad to tell him to talk to the neighbors. I am sure he will just get into a fight with the irresponsible parents of the teens.

Sucks to be stuck in a neighborhood like this!

Mr. Lee was very busy with his business. He was talking to one of his suppliers about stainless steel tube bending while taking care of another business that he has and a new one he is going to venture into with a family friend. He is a very busy businessman and he won’t trade it for anything else.

He would tell those who ask him that he is working harder each day for his family. He has three kids and his wife is taking care of them all. He wants it to stay that way so that their kids will grow up with at least one parent always present with them.

Mr. Lee promised his family that he will take care of everything just as long as they will also support him along the way – his kids in studying very well, and his wife in taking care of the kids while he’s working.

It’s not easy letting go of someone you love. I am sure there are many of you out there who can relate to this. Letting go of a pet dog because you know you can’t properly care for him/her anymore. It’s not easy, I tell you. You have grown to love the dog already. You already treat him/her like a family member so letting go is like seeing a love one go away.

But, as I’ve said, it becomes necessary sometimes to let go especially if you know in your heart that you are no longer capable of taking care of the dog.

My brother’s girlfriend is letting go of her pet dog. She is now a nurse working in a government hospital here in Quezon City. She can’t take care of her pet dog anymore as she’s living all alone in her condo unit. She can’t very well leave her pet Chihuahua there all the time so she’s now letting go of her Potchi. It saddens her but she doesn’t want her pet dog to be neglected. She’d rather see someone else caring for her Potchi rather than see her beloved pet go to waste.

We would have taken in her pet dog but we already have so many here that it’s not feasible for us to take another one in.

I know right away that a neighbor is experiencing a struggle in life when I heard the clarinet (clarinet reeds) being used. The old man turns to music whenever he is feeling down over something. He once told my dad about it and I remember hearing him telling another neighbor that music just makes him feel better.

Since no one was around that night, I thought I’d go out and talk to the old man. Surprisingly, he opened up to me. We talked about a lot of things. We talked about his life, my life, life in general. We talked about the future and so much more! It was like talking to my grandfather.

I would like to think I cheered him up that night.

It’s not easy to remain faithful when your prayers are unanswered. I must confess that I doubt even if I have seen just how good He is. It’s not something I am proud of but the only thing I can say is that I am human, I am weak. I doubt, I get impatient, and I question.

But I bounce back time and time again. Even when I am at my lowest, I manage to invoke my faith, wavering it might be, and I bounce back. It is a test of our faith if He doesn’t give us what we want but we still believe in Him.

And that’s something I am proud of. I believe.

Have a blessed week everyone!