I really detest being put on the spot. My dad does this to me all the time. And the most recent one is just under an hour ago.

I don’t like my dad drinking. He almost had a heart attack a couple of years ago and I don’t discount the possibility that he will suffer from one anytime soon. We are preventing it as much as possible but if he will keep on drinking, how could we? But you see, my dad stopped drinking beer and hard drinks before. For some reason, he got fond of that Red Horse beer. My uncles introduced that beer to him. Whenever there’s a family gathering, it is natural for the men in our family to drink.

I used to tolerate this because this is what you call occasional drinking. But these uncles of mine would go to our house to chat with my dad and they would buy beer. At first, I didn’t mind. My mom just passed away and maybe it would make my dad happy somewhat.

But it became every weekend that they would go here. 3 days in a row! I tried to stop it by talking to my dad about his drinking. I told him that should he suffer a heart attack, I don’t have enough money to send him to the hospital. He does not have a healthcare insurance. My uncles kept on coming here, making my dad drink. Sometimes behind my back because they saw that I kept on getting mad at my dad for drinking. When they still won’t stop, I drove them away. I was really rude to them, banging the door closed one weekend they were here. I shouted at my dad, in front of them, that should anything happen to him, I will be the one left to suffer paying for his hospitalization and medicines. I will shoulder the burden, NOT THEM! Well, that drove them away! Until a couple of weeks ago…

Because my father’s relatives were really the one who stood by us during my mom’s sickness, I am tolerant towards them. I even paid for several vacations my family had, with them in tow. In my mind, that’s a small price I had to pay. So whenever there’s a birthday celebration or a wake or anything at all that would constitute us being present, we’re there. We show our support.

One of my uncles misconstrued that support. He loves having all my other uncles and my dad with him for a drink. It doesn’t matter if it’s occasional, or like once a month. But he wants it almost every week. Sometimes 2 weeks in a row! I was really mad at this man. He does not even consider the fact that the reason why I am strict with my dad when it comes to his drinking is that aside from the fact that I don’t have enough money to send him to the hospital, I also don’t want to lose another parent! We already lost my mom 3 years ago. My dad was content before, not drinking, spending time with us. Now, he wants my dad drinking again and thinking that we don’t love him because we’re very strict with him. Nakakainis talaga! I told my dad that should anything happen to him, I will just watch these people give us money for his hospitalization. I won’t spend a penny because I kept on reminding him about his heart. My dad’s not getting any younger. And if these people will keep on tempting him with blood poison, we would lose him early just like my mom. So, either I become very, very strict with my dad about his drinking and be rude to my uncles in the process, or I just step back and let them burden me with worries!

They’re here a couple of minutes ago, asking my dad to go with them because it is my uncle’s birthday. 1 hour lang daw. But this will start that drinking sessions again that I detest a lot. So I told my uncle that I would think about letting my dad go. My dad could have told them that he does not want to go because we are still preparing for November 1. But he put me on the spot again, making me look like the jail warden! Nakakainis talaga!

There are days when it really crosses my mind that sana my mom was the one left behind, not my dad. I know it’s bad but in times like this, it makes me wish for it to happen.