Heads up: We are now entering cuffing season. While the idea that you’d start a relationship just because it’s cold out is kind of funny, it’s a legitimate phenomenon that has its basis in evolution. (Really, think about when your past relationships started or became more serious…)
But Jocelyn Charnas, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice in Manhattan, says it’s not necessarily bad to start a new relationship because you want someone to cuddle with when the temperature drops—you’re human, after all.
“We enter into relationships for any number of reasons, regardless of the season,” she says. “Sometimes it’s because someone piques our interest, sometimes because we’re lonely, and sometimes because we’re trying someone on for size.” And right now, it’s because you want someone to cuddle with, since you so don’t feel like dressing up and bar-hopping when it’s cold out.
Licensed marriage and family therapist David Klow, owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago, says it’s probably not the best thing to start a cuffing-season relationship, because you can be fooled into thinking it’s better than it actually is—and pass on chances to get to know other people during that time. That said, it happens… .
With that in mind, here are the signs you’re totally being cuffed, plus why this relationship is definitely going to be over in the spring:
• You had the DTR talk the same day you pulled your skinny jeans out of the back of your drawer. Granted, your butt looks pretty damn good in them, but still.
• You met last week and you’re already sharing a snuggie.
• You’ve been casual friends since May and realized you were “meant for each other” the day temperatures dipped below 65.
• You went apple picking together.
• Your 3 a.m. booty call now shows up for post-brunch sex…and also brunch.
• There’s suddenly a lot of shit at your place that isn’t yours.
• You have a standing Gilmore Girls date.
• “I know we only met last month but you should totally come home with me for [any kind of family holiday]!”…said no one in the summer, ever.
• You already know who you’re going to kiss on New Year’s Eve, but you had no clue two weeks ago.
• You’re making spring break plans with zero intentions of including your S.O.
If you suspect that you’re in a relationship solely because of cuffing season—and you’re not OK with that—it’s a good idea to talk things over to see where your S.O. sees this going. But if you know the deal and you dig it, by all means…