If you want to form a lasting relationship, it might feel like there’s a lot of pressure on that first date. But according to a new study by the dating site PlentyOfFish, you don’t need to do anything extravagant with someone for you two to have long-term potential. In fact, of all the first dates people can go on, the most popular among now-married couples are the simplest.
The study, which included 1,100 former PlentyOfFish users who are now married, found that more than 65 percent of them went out for a meal or apps on their first date with the person who is now their spouse. The second-most popular date was going for a walk, followed by coffee or drinks—all minimalistic activities that make your conversation the main event. And, according to psychotherapist Katherine Schafler, that’s what makes these dates so effective.
“Less is more when it comes to first dates,” she says. “The less complicated the interaction is, the more likely it is for a potential partnership to emerge because you’re not distracted, leaving you more able to focus on the other person, how you feel around them, and whether an attraction is building.”
While there’s something to be said for [cute date activities] (), you might want to save these for the second, third, or fourth dates, when you’ve already gotten to know each other a bit more. Why? “When you choose big activities for a first date, it’s possible you focus a little more on whether you like the activity as opposed to the person you’re doing the big activity with,” Schafler says.