Under One Roof

The whole family spent the day after Christmas at Tagaytay City. We went to the Picnic Grove (as usual), ate lunch at Josephine’s and spent the remainder of the day at People’s Park. We were supposed to go elsewhere but the traffic prevented us. It seemed like everyone else was in Tagaytay that day as well.

We had a lot of fun. We were supposed to go to Subic on the second day of the year but we opted not to go out anymore. Traffic is really terrible during the holidays so we decided to postpone the out of town trip to sometime in February.

What did you do during the holidays?

My uncle is a very jealous person. I think it stems from the fact that he’s away from his family, working abroad to provide a better future for them. He checks on his wife every half hour or so. It’s not that he doesn’t trust her. He just wants to make sure that she’s with their kids and not out gossiping with their neighbors. His wife is known to do that from time to time so I can understand where he’s coming from.

Last night, his wife and two of their four kids were here at home. My uncle called twice asking if his wife was really here. I was left scratching my head, embarrassed for my aunt. I think it’s out of line for my uncle to check on his wife in front of his relatives. Younger relatives at that. It’s just downright insulting and humiliating for my aunt. Good thing my aunt just laughs it off. But if it’s a different person, that would probably mean war already!

Whenever I hear this Kenny G song, I remember my brother. The song is from the soundtrack of Dying Young. My brother died young. I still miss him a lot…

It’s been years but there’s still a lot of why’s and what if’s in my mind when I think of my brother. I will forever wish he was still here with us… always.

This year, our family went on vacation only once. In Bagac, Bataan during the summer. Unlike in the past years, there’s nothing much special on that trip. We were disappointed with the place. It was not like what we were told. The strong, big waves prevented us from enjoying the beach. The black sand was a pest! It went to our ears, inside what we’re wearing and it’s a mess! It’s good that we had fun with the family and relatives and that there’s Mt. Samat. Otherwise, it was a complete waste of good money.

Last 26th, our family went to Tagaytay. We went to the usual places: Picnic Grove, People’s Park, The Flower Farm (which was disappointing because we weren’t able to get in because there’s no tour guide present), and we ate at Josephine’s. The latter was all hype! It used to be really good. I don’t know what happened to it. The place is still good, the view of Taal Lake is still the best. But the food was blah! Should have eaten at Leslie’s or Antonio’s Grill instead. Even Gerry’s Grill would have been better. The day trip was a memory we will always cherish. We’re hoping to do it again. Probably go to Subic on the 2nd if everything goes right.

When I was a little kid, I only get to have new clothes, usually a shirt and pants or shorts, on Christmas. I didn’t get to have something new until then. First and foremost, my parents couldn’t afford it. There’s just too many of us and getting me something new would mean getting the rest of my siblings something new as well. That’s too costly for my dad. I didn’t mind it. Until I went to high school and found myself wishing I had more clothes to choose from.

But looking back, I realized that it made me appreciate brand new clothes more. When my sisters and I were talking about it, we compared ourselves with our brother who gets to have new clothes from time to time since there’s already four of us working and we can already afford it. My brother is meticulous when it comes to his clothes but sometimes, we think that he’d be more appreciative if he experienced what we did when we were little kids. We just noticed that kids these days get so many things even when there’s no occasion and you will see that some of them neglects to take care of their things because they know they can get brand new ones if they ask for it.

Balikbayan boxes or packages from overseas workers are already arriving. It’s that time of the year again. I don’t know if this is the same with other countries but here in the Philippines, it is somewhat a tradition to get at least one big balikbayan box from a family member or relative working abroad. It usually contains chocolates, candies, soaps, shampoos, luncheon meat, corned beef, and other things like shirts, shoes and personal stuff. I should know, my dad once worked abroad.

But you know, with the joy of receiving a balikbayan box comes sadness that the person who sent it would not be with you come Christmas. I am sure a lot of you who has love ones working abroad would rather be surprised that instead of a balikbayan box, the person himself/herself will arrive to celebrate Christmas with you…

That’s life and we all learn to live with both the joy and sorrow.

Have you received your balikbayan box yet?

…anything related to finance is being asked on me. Like matters on taxation and accounting. It is okay with me. In fact, I feel flattered at times. Because I know they trust me with important matters.

Like today. My aunt’s husband called me up regarding a tax matter on the house they are buying. He told me that he knows I am an “expert” on taxes. Of course I laughed it off. I am no expert. But I felt important somehow. When I was able to provide the information he needed, he told me that I can go live with them should I feel the need to. Hahaha.

Coming from him, that’s high praise.

We are not on speaking terms with my uncle’s wife. Do you know why? Because my dad reprimanded her and her cousin (who happens to be the wife of another uncle) for allowing her 14-year-old daughter to have a relationship with her teacher! My uncle is working abroad and he doesn’t know anything about it. My dad, as the second to the eldest, felt like it was his duty to correct what he deemed to be something wrong.

I don’t know with you but it really bothered us that a teacher is having a relationship with his student. And even more, that a mother of a minor would approve of the relationship. But when my dad talked to my uncle’s wife about it, she was defensive and even asked her cousin, another uncle’s wife I mentioned, to back her up.

We don’t know if we should tell my uncle working abroad about it. My dad is thinking of reporting the teacher to the school administration. Or talking to my cousin. But I told my dad to just stop and let them be. If the mother allows her daughter, who are we to say no to it?

We just feel it’s so very wrong. And we pity my uncle who’s working so hard away from his family to give them a good life.

A younger cousin of mine, Felice*, got pregnant when she turned 18. It was a big issue in the paternal side of the family that time. My cousin was banished from the ancestral house where her whole family lives. She can still come visit but she can’t live there anymore. My aunts, who shell out money to maintain the house and pay for its taxes, are still angry at her for being so selfish, prioritizing herself when she knows her family, especially her younger siblings, needs her.

And then another cousin is under fire because of teen pregnancy. This time around, my 17-year-old male cousin, Jed*, impregnated his 20-something girlfriend. In fact, the girl delivered a baby girl last 16th. Unlike Felice, Jed was not ostracized by the family for what happened. He and his parents and younger sibling kept it from every one. But you know how things like this get out no matter how hard you try to keep it under wraps. We, the cousins, all got wind of it and kept quiet about it. We wanted the adults to take care of the situation and not meddle with it. Surprisingly, the adults also kept quiet about it when they all knew what’s happening. And then when the girl popped the baby out, I heard that the aunts even gave Jed’s mom the money for the delivery. Say what?!?

I hate that there’s a double standard in dealing with this kind of situation in the family. Who’s the worse offender? I would like to think that Jed’s an even bigger offender than Felice. His parents both have no jobs to speak of. He’s a brat who can’t even trim his own nails and would always wail “Mom!” even in the slightest things like getting him a glass of water and finding his socks. He’s not yet even ready in any way to be a dad and he chose to ignore all of it to give in to his “urges”.

If my aunts and uncles forgave Jed, then they should have forgiven Felice as well. I just hate this double standards in dealing with teen pregnancy!

*Names changed.

I cannot understand the logic behind being hateful to a relative that’s doing better than you in life. Will it make you happy to be saying bad things about your own relative? Will it enrich you somehow? I don’t think so. Unless you are a relative of a celebrity and you are dishing out their dirty laundry to the media.

We are not celebrities. Darn it!